Quirky Management Jokes Gifts

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

"Stan, it's come to my attention that you have been creeping people out at work."

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

"Get me a young fella-me-lad with a jib I like the cut of."

Job complaints on road signs.

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

'The boss has a distinct way of chewing you out.'

'Take down that stupid sign! It's giving me a headache!'

"Do you want the Boss or someone who knows what they are talking about."

'I question his commitment since his ulcer isn't bleeding.'

'Now THIS is my idea of a creative department.'

'One small point,Perkins-we don't STAMP on the sell-by dates here!'

Think Small.

'After all these years of purposely losing to the boss, I beat the pulp out of him and turned in my resignation.'

Micromanage / Nanomanage

'Miss Jenkins, get me a smaller desk or a larger office.'

'I hate this constant atmosphere of always worrying about meeting a deadline.'

'There's been another management shake-up. The former global sales manager is now head of Europe, and the old head of engineering is now head of purchasing.'

"Your idea is useless, but we could use you and save money on lighting."

"I don’t understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn’t on his ‘To Do’ list!"

"We're going to cut out the expensive, boring stiff and just build the top."

"See these? Never touched a keyboard."

'Hey, Henderson, still got your brains in your butt? Ha! Ha!'

A Paper Shredder Prototype.

We can offer volunteers a range of experiences including exhaustion,emotional overload,lack of support and stark terror.

'Ms Jenkins, please inform the 3rd floor I've decided to fire them. And tell floors 4, 7 and 9 that they're next if they don't get it in gear.'

people standing in a briefcase.

"Oh, you know, I'm just a typical guy in a boring suit, working in the corporate industry."

"Perhaps we waited too long for Simms to grow into the Job."