Management Humor Gifts

"My boss is a changed man. He went from bad to worse."

'I hate this constant atmosphere of always worrying about meeting a deadline.'

Think Small.

'I hate my line manager!'

Job complaints on road signs.

"And just in your contract does it mention a weekly podcast?"

"Looks like we found the issue."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Bo're'droom

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'