Quirky Management Jokes Pillows

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

"Stan, it's come to my attention that you have been creeping people out at work."

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

"Get me a young fella-me-lad with a jib I like the cut of."

Job complaints on road signs.

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

'Take down that stupid sign! It's giving me a headache!'

'The boss has a distinct way of chewing you out.'

'I question his commitment since his ulcer isn't bleeding.'

"Do you want the Boss or someone who knows what they are talking about."

'Now THIS is my idea of a creative department.'

'One small point,Perkins-we don't STAMP on the sell-by dates here!'

Think Small.

'After all these years of purposely losing to the boss, I beat the pulp out of him and turned in my resignation.'

Micromanage / Nanomanage

'Miss Jenkins, get me a smaller desk or a larger office.'

'I hate this constant atmosphere of always worrying about meeting a deadline.'

A Paper Shredder Prototype.

"We're going to cut out the expensive, boring stiff and just build the top."

'Hey, Henderson, still got your brains in your butt? Ha! Ha!'

'There's been another management shake-up. The former global sales manager is now head of Europe, and the old head of engineering is now head of purchasing.'

"Your idea is useless, but we could use you and save money on lighting."

"See these? Never touched a keyboard."

"I don’t understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn’t on his ‘To Do’ list!"

We can offer volunteers a range of experiences including exhaustion,emotional overload,lack of support and stark terror.

'Ms Jenkins, please inform the 3rd floor I've decided to fire them. And tell floors 4, 7 and 9 that they're next if they don't get it in gear.'

'It' his supervisor.'

"Perhaps we waited too long for Simms to grow into the Job."

"Oh, you know, I'm just a typical guy in a boring suit, working in the corporate industry."