Quirky Knitting Fan Pillows

"I didn't waste lockdown, I learned how to knit my new beard."

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

Open House of Horrors

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

Never give a cow a giant straw.

'You should work for Conglomo. You're allowed the vegetable of your choice.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

Deer Cross Dressing.

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

The water desk

"We're out of flowers."

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

"He's at that awkward age."

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

Beachy Hair

'We only have one brand of beer, but we've got six kinds of flavor straws.'

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

Toast kidnapper.

Ted enjoyed going to the park and feeding the woodpeckers.

Crossword bathroom tiles.

'Another artisanal B&B.'