Quirky Journalists Pillows

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Candid Camera store.

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

Expressions of mystery.

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

Indian snake charmer charms a snake.

"When we said to be creative with your grant proposal presentation, this is not what was meant."

'We won't publish your book 'The Life of a mayfly: An Autobiography' because it's only a page long!'

Newton discovers surrealism

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

"How do I turn off my camera so no one stares?"

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

Lie detector, "It's a goddam liar bird all right."

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

'A shocking report shows more marriages are ending in divorce than decapitation. Could this be the end of traditional marriage, as we know it? More on that. . .after the break!'

'I like it.'

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

Robot porn.

"It'h thnowing. . .me no like thnow in thpring. . . "

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

Eggs That Were Anagarms In Past Lives -'Unscramble Me'.

Tercentary of Shakespeare's Birth

'I'm going to need a Margin of Error or I can't publish your prediction of 6 more weeks of winter.'

Sign on shop: Headquarters: 'Business People for Peace'. Man walks out of shop wearing t-shirt with slogan 'Make money not war'.