Quirky Conversationists Pillows

"I still say it's a napalm tree."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

"Hey, do you want to be in my bubble?"

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."