Quirky Humor Finder Gifts

Cakeless.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"You left this on our ship."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Theatre Masks and Butts

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"Fresh pepper?"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Introducing...Anagraman.

Astral Projection

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

Blind man walking a tortoise.

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

Family members!

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

Ostriches making out

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'Check out the old dude.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"Got any bathtub gin?"