Quirky Humor Explorer Gifts

Surreal scene depicting a dry cleaner shop interior, with pant zipper flies stuck to a fly strip.

"I just don't think our relationship will work out, honey."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

"You left this on our ship."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Glance Exchange

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

Astral Projection

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'