Quirky Home Improver Gifts

A botched home improvement job.

Punk painting his walls 'White with a hint of puke'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Tool Box

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

Conservation Area

'Ray's as excited as...well...as excited as a guy who just bought a snowblower on the eve of a storm.'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

"Mulch madness"

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'Well, that's fixed that.'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

The Day Dreamer.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

Beware of the Lawn

'It's a coffee-book table.'

Man's best friend

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

Unicyclist painting a ceiling.

'Please excuse the mess. The interior decorators are in.'

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."