Home Improver With A Twist Gifts

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

He's made a putting green on the second floor.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Tool Box

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

Conservation Area

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'Ray's as excited as...well...as excited as a guy who just bought a snowblower on the eve of a storm.'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

We're putting on a subtraction.

A holiday at home

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

"Mulch madness"

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'Well, that's fixed that.'

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

The Day Dreamer.

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

Man's best friend

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

Unicyclist painting a ceiling.

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'Please excuse the mess. The interior decorators are in.'

"Hang on- I'm receiving a textured message."