Home Improver Gifts

'I'm just sayin', maybe we should look for another real estate agent!'

"It's in a very, very, very good neighborhood."

"We're in the tub together. But not like it used to be."

"Have you been trying to fix this yourself?"

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'I've never known people who take as many baths as they do!'

'We loved the location, so we simply added on.'

'It's just until we get the lock fixed.'

"Since he lost his job I try to keep him busy around the house."

'Your house is made of cheese. You don't smell that?'

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'Alfred, Darling - I think your bath is ready!'

'Doreen's been all over me to paint the house...'

'Ray's as excited as...well...as excited as a guy who just bought a snowblower on the eve of a storm.'

"Marie has been planning for my retirement for years."

'I've done most of it - You'll only need to put it together again and make it work.'

'I don't know if your husband is the same, but mine starts lots of projects but never finishes any...'

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

Six dead, 42 missing in what witnesses are calling the worst insecticide in recent memory.

"Is it Humid in here or is it just me?"

'He keeps the duct tape industry in the black.'

'Darn power walkers went right through the house.'

Prisoner

Grass isn't greener

Hair trigger

'Maybe you should fix the TV stand.'

'Sorry, m'am! Nothin' I can do to repair those pipes!'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

'Well, that's fixed that.'

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Wow! Blue toilet water"

'Nice needlework, dear, but we don't need a bigger house.'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"