Home Improver Extraordinaire Gifts

Sometimes I regret putting in a basement.

Rather than lugging around heavy bags of cat litter, many cat owners are opting for kitty litter silos.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Jack of all trades

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'I found the termites!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

I did it my way.

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

Conservation Area

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'Ray's as excited as...well...as excited as a guy who just bought a snowblower on the eve of a storm.'

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

"Mulch madness"

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

We're putting on a subtraction.

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

A holiday at home

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

'Well, that's fixed that.'

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation