Quirky Giftee Pillows

'Hello? 911! Come quick! My husband is having a fart attack!'

Because bubble wrap made it hard to sneak up on their targets, ninjas eventually switched to their familiar black outfits.

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

Lactose Intolerant

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Cheeze Wiz.

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Ball as water-melon.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

'We have three minutes left.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

A watch face with Stonehenge

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Diner

Fly fishing.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).