Quirky Geographer T-Shirts

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Pigeon Little

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'I really think we took a wrong turn.'

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

Reverse psychology

The High Line at Giza

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Mount Rushmore Down Under

Reverse Ageing Laboratory

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

Genetic Fingerprinting.

Recombinant DNA Lab. I'm crossing a pine tree, pumpkin and bunny --- You can use it for three holidays!

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Pavlov's Cat

'Very good, Jeffrey! - You are so creative!'

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

"You have reached the edge of town."

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"It's not Kansas, Totem, but I can settle for it."

Jeffrey's Time Machine: '...I want to go back and see what the world was like when people weren't so stupid and annoying!'

'The math is more complex this year and some of you won't be able to just tap out your answers anymore.'