Quirky Intellectual T-Shirts

Treating OCD.

"He's the original absent-minded professor."

Albert Einstein

"Oh, yeah! Well, your mother doesn't know a molecule from barnacle."

'Doctor Luftkopf is working on a United Field CONSPIRACY Theory.'

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

Rene Descartes

"Minorities have it sooo easy. They show up at school, study hard, do all their work, and get good grades."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Albert Einstein

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

The Map of the human brain

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

Pigeon Little

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Reverse psychology

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

The Chicken Who Crossed the Road, in therapy. My motives are always being questioned!

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

Large print e-book.

Dreams I have had...

The Man who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, and the Woman who Mistook her Husband for a New Mercedes.

"Am I sensing fear?"

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."