Quirky Theorist T-Shirts

Isolating the coolness gene: "OK, a little more COltrane, and I think we've got it!"

'Mike is still whakin' on it...Accordin' to his flow-thru hull theory, drillin' more holes will bring it back up.'

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

"It appears some faecal matter came into contact with some faecal anti-matter."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

The Map of the human brain

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

Pigeon Little

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Reverse psychology

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

The Chicken Who Crossed the Road, in therapy. My motives are always being questioned!

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"Don't editorialize."

"Am I sensing fear?"

Reverse Ageing Laboratory

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

Dreams I have had...

Large print e-book.

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

The Man who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, and the Woman who Mistook her Husband for a New Mercedes.