Quirky Gag Collector Pillows

Black Widow's husband.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

Kissing the Fish

Balloon dog poos.

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

State of the Art Dog.

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

Cat has swallowed computer mouse.

Biliard Enthusiast

"Paper or plastic?"

'Okay,stay close, and stay alert! Looks like we're heading into BIG CAT COUNTRY!'

'No, don't tell me...split personality.'

"Well thank you, and may I say you look quite handsome too..."

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

"Ah yes… this is Mr Shipley, our new head of strategically placed objects."

Chameleon and TV

"Maybe that metal device we found with the paleolithic stone tools WAS a ray gun!"

"Anatomy of a cat"

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

Odorant

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

"You must see someone about your problem."

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

A Scottish Terrier playing bagpipes wins the dog show.