Quirky Gag Collector Gifts

Black Widow's husband.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Cheeze Wiz.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

Kissing the Fish

Balloon dog poos.

'Head down...eye on the ball...'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

State of the Art Dog.

Cat has swallowed computer mouse.

'No, don't tell me...split personality.'

"Paper or plastic?"

"Well thank you, and may I say you look quite handsome too..."

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

'Okay,stay close, and stay alert! Looks like we're heading into BIG CAT COUNTRY!'

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

Biliard Enthusiast

The magic of April Fools' morning.

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

Chameleon and TV

"Ah yes… this is Mr Shipley, our new head of strategically placed objects."

"Maybe that metal device we found with the paleolithic stone tools WAS a ray gun!"

"Anatomy of a cat"

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

Odorant

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

"You must see someone about your problem."

A Scottish Terrier playing bagpipes wins the dog show.