Quirky Florist Gifts

Clown Gardening

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Suzies days as a flower girl were numbered.

Planting Bird Seed.

Industrial Beautification van

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

"You're welcome. Glad you like them."

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

Clown watering his flowers.

Football fan

"The cat was there."

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

Redneck Flowerpot

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

'Man with birds nesting in hair.'

"I only grown them because her mother's allergic to them."

Why is he always fooling around with plants? He wants to be a robotanist! (Published originally on August 26, 2015.)