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Clown Gardening

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Suzies days as a flower girl were numbered.

Industrial Beautification van

Planting Bird Seed.

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

Football fan

"The cat was there."

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

Clown watering his flowers.

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

"You're welcome. Glad you like them."

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

'Don't listen to anyone. I think you're beautiful...even if you are a weed.'

'Man with birds nesting in hair.'

"I only grown them because her mother's allergic to them."