Quirky Family Advocate Gifts

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"How is it gendered?"

"Where's your nose?"

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"I'll explain later."

'Congratulations! It's an omelette!'

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

Boho Bribes

'Hello? Animal control?'

Mum, Dad, I've met something...

'No kid, I don't remember your mother! Christ, I've impregnated DOZENS of test-tubes!'

'Yeah, my Mum is a clean-freak too: I have to wash my food before I eat it...'

'for the record, it tasted like black licorice.'

"Have you seen his sippy skull?"

Newton's Cradle

At home with the Cone family.

Excited about getting Gina to the hospital on the 'big day', Doug converts their car into the Stork-mobile.

Tapeworms Need Love Too

Banana Costume