Quirky Escapade Planner Gifts

'People are staring at us because they've never seen private box seats at an off broadway theatre before.'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Duck Hunt

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

Picks your own strawberries....Strangle your own turkeys

Cindy's imaginary friend has the day off so the agency send over a temp to fill in.

Planned service changes

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"We were thinking about the Himalayas this summer. On the other hand, there's something very special about Montauk."

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

Odysseus returns to the Laundromat

'Some action figures! - They just STAND there!'

'Yes, It's in that direction.'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

'It's a very realistic set that even comes with contract specifications and outrageous bid proposals.'

"Here is a folder with your itinerary, visas and pre-paid coupons for your four-star hotel nests along the way: happy migration!"

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

'That was a good idea of yours to make ourselves scarce, the price of honey is going through the roof. I am going to cash in and get myself a nice little hive in Ibiza.'

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

'First time skiing?'

'Darling. Let's get the Gustavssons over this weekend for some more bare knuckle boxing.'

School Trip To The Beach

"They're selling timeshares in Alaska."

'I don't know why I let you talk me into such hare-brained schemes...darn it,missed again!'

'Yes, a two centre holiday sounds good to me. I'll go to Paris, where do you fancy?'

Returning tourism

'We should have bought the piano first, and built the igloo around it.'