Quirky Couple Humor Pillows

"Well of course there's a damp patch on the mattress - does it matter who sleeps on it?"

'At home, he's my husband, here; he's my dump bucket.'

"I'm pretty lucky. I have a wife that tolerates both my lactose and bad habits."

"I'm sick of these endless repeats."

"The portions are so small, thank goodness there's a food bank around the corner."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

Cat Towels

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Advanced footsie

Inappropriate Snowmen

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

A Prickly Pair

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

He was a nerd. But he was her nerd.

"So that's where you were last night."

"Leon, do you think it's all psychological?"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

And they lived happily ever after for a few years until the quirks they found so cute in each other when they were dating eventually drove them both insane the end.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

"Don't tell him anything."

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

Face Mask Romance

Prison Romance.

'Here's one I made earlier.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'He has his pet and I have mine.'