Quirky Couple Humor Gifts

"Well of course there's a damp patch on the mattress - does it matter who sleeps on it?"

'At home, he's my husband, here; he's my dump bucket.'

"I'm pretty lucky. I have a wife that tolerates both my lactose and bad habits."

"I'm sick of these endless repeats."

"The portions are so small, thank goodness there's a food bank around the corner."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Advanced footsie

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Inappropriate Snowmen

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

A Prickly Pair

He was a nerd. But he was her nerd.

"So that's where you were last night."

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

"Leon, do you think it's all psychological?"

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

"Don't tell him anything."

Face Mask Romance

Prison Romance.

Graffitti.

'Here's one I made earlier.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

'He has his pet and I have mine.'