Quirky Couple Gifts

Ahhh...young and in love, a thrifty Mr. Tramp selects only the best flowers for ever date...

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

'You know I'm not going to be able to concentrate if you're going to grind your teeth all night.'

"We know it was meant to be. We illegally downloaded the exact same music!"

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

"So this is me."

"We met over the holidays."

'...I can't believe you surprised me with a romantic balloon ride for our anniversary!'

'So this is your idea of making things more fun in the bedroom?'

The Pop-Up Book of Impotence

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

'Shall we get comfortable Helen?'

'You remembered our anniversary!'

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

Bowel of Love.

Sado-masochists reading in bed.

A couple eat from a bird feeder.

Advanced footsie

"You're not one of those hoarders, are you?"

"Don't tell him anything."

"They were only supposed to find truffles, but then they found Roger - a man who curiously smells a lot like truffles."

"Every year he regifts himself to me."

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"I sure lucked out with you!"

"Your wife feels that your cat needs to hear an authoritative male voice."

"Do you want a pinch of dinner."

"I can't believe you forgot your death certificate."

"I'm so glad that we're finally able to do lunch."

Inappropriate Snowmen

"I forgot to pay the light bill. I swear, I would forget my head if it wasn't screwed on."

Hedgehog/Punk Romance

"Ready for your birthday present dear?" "Leave the diaper on! Leave the diaper on!"

"Ah, honey?" "Yes, sweetheart?" "You've left it in the drawer again."

"I'm sorry, young man, I just can't go through with this ceremony!"

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"