Quirky Couple Gifts

Ahhh...young and in love, a thrifty Mr. Tramp selects only the best flowers for ever date...

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

'You know I'm not going to be able to concentrate if you're going to grind your teeth all night.'

"We know it was meant to be. We illegally downloaded the exact same music!"

"Charles, you have some corn stuck in your teeth."

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'...I can't believe you surprised me with a romantic balloon ride for our anniversary!'

"We met over the holidays."

'Shall we get comfortable Helen?'

'You remembered our anniversary!'

Sado-masochists reading in bed.

"So this is me."

Bowel of Love.

'So this is your idea of making things more fun in the bedroom?'

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

The Pop-Up Book of Impotence

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"It's gotta be a good place – we've been ignored for well over an hour now."

"Ah, honey?" "Yes, sweetheart?" "You've left it in the drawer again."

“Is the light bothering you, dear?”

A short man with a tall wife is said to have married beneath him.

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

"I'm sorry, young man, I just can't go through with this ceremony!"

Your shirt's on backward. I'm with stupid.

"Mmm, sweetheart. . . is that eau de spoiled meat? Delicious..."

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

A couple eat from a bird feeder.

"Ready for your birthday present dear?" "Leave the diaper on! Leave the diaper on!"

"I'm so glad that we're finally able to do lunch."

"I can't believe you forgot your death certificate."

"Do you want a pinch of dinner."

"I sure lucked out with you!"

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"They were only supposed to find truffles, but then they found Roger - a man who curiously smells a lot like truffles."

"Don't tell him anything."