Quirky Couple Jokes Pillows

"I told you not to buy a waterbed!"

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Advanced footsie

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Inappropriate Snowmen

A Prickly Pair

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

"So that's where you were last night."

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

Prison Romance.

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"Don't tell him anything."

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

Cupid

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

"I'm pretty lucky. I have a wife that tolerates both my lactose and bad habits."

'SAME SOCKS BAR.'

'Quick, act like a dog. My friend just busted us.'

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

"Ahh, bless him. He's run out of bird feed for our little Blue Tits."