Quirky Couple Jokes Pillows

"I told you not to buy a waterbed!"

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Cat Towels

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Advanced footsie

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Inappropriate Snowmen

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

A Prickly Pair

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

"So that's where you were last night."

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'Here's one I made earlier.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"Don't tell him anything."

Prison Romance.

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

Cupid

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

Lovers' Leap

'SAME SOCKS BAR.'

"I'm pretty lucky. I have a wife that tolerates both my lactose and bad habits."

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

"Ahh, bless him. He's run out of bird feed for our little Blue Tits."