Quirky Christian Gifts

Holy Water and Ice Blocks

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Best before 65 million BC.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Texturing the Walls

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

"I expect you all to be team players - except Ted, whom I expect to remain team mascot."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Victorian Gentleman

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

'I just had this sudden urge to stand out in a crowd...'.

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

Celebrity Phrenologist.

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

Real Estate Personals

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"I beg to differ."

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto, Number One, first movement."

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

Bald man with a brush on his head

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'