Quirky Candidate Gifts

'We need someone to walk the plants.'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Save the unicorn.

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"Must you use the cat's litter box to practice your sand trap swing?"

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

Urine Catcher

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

Setting up companies

"Any other skills?"

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

Forcing the Rabbit to Eat the Magicians Hat.

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

I always feel so short when you wear heels.

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

True, I've seen plenty of padded resumes, but very few bejeweled resumes.

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'