Quirky Voter Gifts

'I hate it when people vote with their feet'

"Brilliant Angela, that will get them out to vote."

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Great British Eccentrics.

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

Save the unicorn.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Ostrich Curoisities

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Good book?'

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

Vote Grinkley! Now you see him, now you don't.

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

Ransom Library. Oh, that's just Henry … He's a history buff. Wild West.

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

Louse and garden...

Tropical Cow Tank

Gigolo Diary

VOTE!, 'If elected, I'll sponsor legislation for a $10 billion study of Government hypocrisy!'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

Older cousin press

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.

"Maybe strawberries would have made more sense."

Impractical Gardener.

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Celestial Sadie, In the Western sky after sunset, Jupitor can be seen nearly aligned with Venus. What do you make of this? R. Yates. Excellent question. That reminds me of a long lost civilization, in which there was no such thing as a typo. Where no one ever hit the wrong key because they wrote letters by hand. Eventually, it became so obsessed with speed that it began typing everything, and so inconsiderate that it soon stopped bothering to proo

New From Why? Books

Man reading 'Amnesia volume 1' while having a bookshelf full of 'Amnesia Volume 1'