Ironic Voter Gifts

I told people who I was going to vote for, but on election day I stayed home and played board games instead. The Milton Bradley effect.

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

"Barry stop!. . . I'm you! I'm Barry from 2008. I'm using a time machine to stop you from making an awful mistake!"

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

Markets and Marketabilityby Jane Austen

AI Summit

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'I'm glad you're making friends, Darrel.'

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

Kangaroo with a smoking baby.

VOTE!, 'If elected, I'll sponsor legislation for a $10 billion study of Government hypocrisy!'

I was more a financial magician myself. I could make money disappear very easily.

'Thank goodness we don't need profits in order to make piles of money.'

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

The Best System in the World

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

Vote for Ken and his congestion charge.

"I'll just mow the lawn then I'll put myself forward to lead the Conservatives."

"You've done some outstanding work in Public Relations, Benderman. Unfortunately, you work in Accounting.!

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

"It's a cause close to my heart."

'Man, you are the first parole office to truly understand me.'

Church Parking

'I don't know why other people pray in school, but I pray in school because I'm not supposed to.'

"And then one day, I had this revelation: Why not go public with my non-profit business and start making some big bucks?"

'Look at the bum on that Wayne, is she that girl that worked at the Burger Shack?'

"Brilliant Angela, that will get them out to vote."

"We're letting you go with a severance payment large enough to cover the cost of a classified 'Jobs Wanted' ad."

End of the Pier Show

"...and which of the election candidates do you dislike the least?"

"It's time we have a little chat."

I'm not going to vote because there aren't any televised debates. What? Debates are pretty much the only good thing about election season. You get to watch the politicians hate each other in person. And you get to watch the panic in their eyes when they mess up an answer and realize they've just ruined their entire political career. If they're not gonna bother entertaining me, why should I bother giving them my vote? I love casting ballots. Any opportunity to flex is worthwhile.