Quirky Candidate Pillows

'We need someone to walk the plants.'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Save the unicorn.

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

"Must you use the cat's litter box to practice your sand trap swing?"

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

Celebrity Phrenologist.

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

Urine Catcher

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

Setting up companies

"Any other skills?"

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

Forcing the Rabbit to Eat the Magicians Hat.

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'