Quirky Business Lovers Gifts

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

Office temperature.

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'He insists on being a part of the corporate pipeline.'

"It all looks fine to me."

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

Sharks' Mission Statement

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

Business Promotion.

"This just in! Due to downsizing, the mega-merger of Consolidated Industries and Humungous Corporation has been changed to a simple bankruptcy."

"At the end of the day, Maureen, wake me up."

"It's not backstabbing if I tell our boss how lame you are while you're sitting here, is it?"

"The first chart is pre-Prozac and this chart is post-Prozac ... "

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

'One businessman's lunch-on-the-rocks and one businessman's special straight-up.'

"I'm appointing you head of marketing...your first job is to come up with something we can market...and to who??"

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

Board of directors of a baby products company suck their thumbs after realising sales and profits are down.

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."

'I can't believe it! This is when I sent out a company memo advocating a win-win philosophy.'

"We could hire some sign-wavers to stand by the side of the road and advertise our product."

Find out who has the Licensing Rights to Armegeddon.