Quiet Space Comedians Gifts

Mobile Library

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

"Sir, a bunch of bald-headed, castrated humanoids wearing Nikes just materialised with their luggage back there."

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

Angel doing the hula hoop.

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"We've added this since depth perception is a problem in space."

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

"It's Houston. They have a problem."

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

"When was your last meta-physical?"

'That must be the guy from corporate.'

Moon's Portaloo.

'We just received a radio signal from Tau-Upsilon that was utter drivel. Do you suppose it was one of their TV shows?'

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

'I've had a toothache for the last million light years, take me to your dentist.'

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

'We'd better patent this, so the homo sapiens can't steal it from us, like they did with the fire.'

"Oh, look—here's the one from last night!"

Stand up comedians from outer space.

'I was chatting with Krog when, out of the blue, that thing fell on him.'

Wolf clinging on to a speeding space rocket

Spiro & Pusho meet an alien.

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

Actually, I think you looked better with Atlantis.