Sacred Space Comedian Gifts

'Verger, give me a hand to move the font over a bit. . .'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"Houston, we have a problem."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'You caught it, you gut it!'

Save Our Universe

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

The Origins of Everything

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Water is discovered on the moon....

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Science fiction fans on other planets