Quiet Night Connoisseur Gifts

"There goes our early night."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Moliere

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

C Day Lewis.

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"See what I mean? People don't know how to relax anymore."

Pizza and Related Searches.

"Isn't this more fun than spending money on dinner and a movie?"

"I hope this is the right wine for reading and ignoring one another."

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

Sergei Rachmaninov

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

"I wish I'd been invited to all these parties before I discovered the joys of staying in."

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."

"Maybe we should go to my place after all!"

Drunk And Orderly

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

Comb over club.

Yeah, last words are like snappy comeback --- You always think of the best ones after it's too late!

The John Cage Carollers

"Faux wood grain towel dispensers, matching toilet plunbers, herb scented urinal cakes, where's it all end, Stan?"

'If I want to listen to music in otherwise total silence I'll have a night in with Geoff.'

War And Peace?/The Catcher in the Rye?/Citizen Kane?/Jaws?

Tarzan of the overcompensators