Romantic Evening Connoisseur Gifts

"Maybe we should go to my place after all!"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

Bear Costume

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

'Love me little, love me long.'

Romantic Tree Carving

Bedtime story.

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

"There goes our early night."

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

Romantic Frogs

"Don't blame me! Your profile said nothing about a seafood allergy."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'Wow - My kind of man.'

Looking tasty

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

"Oh, do you like the candles? I made them myself our of old crayons!"

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

Lovers in ruffled dresses

Perfect Match

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

'I'm Marcus and I'll be listening in on your conversations this evening.'

The air conditioning in here isn't working very well. Why don't we keep cool by undressing each other with our eyes? ?

'With our romantic candlelight dinner, I'm obligated to include a safe-sex warning.'

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

7 Dwarves of Valentines Day

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

"I'm afraid you will have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

"I don't know - I feel like we always split the cheese plate."