Quiet Connoisseurs Gifts

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

Hush puppy.

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

Henrik Ibsen,

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

"There goes our early night."

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

"Cat got your tongue?"

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Silly News.

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

"He's a mental-health critic."

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"See what I mean? People don't know how to relax anymore."

"I hope this is the right wine for reading and ignoring one another."

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

'Do you have anything on obtrusive personality disorder?'

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

Speed Checked By Radar.

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'

Shut the F#%* up! (Formally Shhhh!)

The Zen of Regulation

Maxim Gorky.

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."

Free Little Library

"I'm excited to leave this party we're going to."

"Are you really sure we're supposed to give points for sound?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

Make America Quiet

Card night for introverts.

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."