Connoisseurs Gifts

"Are you really sure we're supposed to give points for sound?"

The Family Joules: Part 16

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

Imported Candy. "Chocolate Australian Bears"? Yes --- "Coca-Koalas"!

'Who's the new guy?'

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

The End of the Worker Bees

"He's a mental-health critic."

Now entering: Space. Population - wouldn't you like to know.

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'I hope you are not playing God again . . .'

Chimp with mail-order anthill.

"I think the lines down!"

"Are you talking to me?"

"We have some architects in our colony."

"Mrs. Porterhouse and her pianist have agreed to disagree."

Advertising Lessons from the Old School

"Yeah, I see the outgoing calls, but what about the introverted ones?"

"You know that drug commercial where everyone is laughing and running around with friends and dogs enjoying the beautiful day? What are they on?"

"Is your spouse bad at babying you when you're sick?"

Jewish Deep Thinker

'Of course you can't understand a word he says, he's the station tannoy announcer.'

'In future in addition to the usual access to customers address books, photographs and friends we'll want information on...'

'Would you like you water from the Indian or the Chinese side of the Himalayas?'

'Without my speech writer I'm worried I may say what I mean.'

"I hate to be that guy, but, technically, Frankenstein is the name of my creator, and I'm Frankenstein's monster."

"Once upon a time, seven dwarves was a tall order but now the snow white virgin is the real problem

"You have to think outside the litter box."

'It's a call from Tate Modern.'

After Hours At Lincoln Center

'I can't believe you just said that Satchel's writing is better than mine.'

World War 3 live on T.V. "The special effects are lousy compared to the jeans commercials"