Quiet Bar Aficionado Gifts

"Personally, I liked this place better before it became a sports bar."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Club Antisocial

Hush puppy.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

Last Chance For Reality

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"I needed that. It's a swamp out there."

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

"You're talking politics? Take it outside or online, but not here!"

'How about a nice saloon?'

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Ostrich Bar

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Do they look tired to you?"

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."

Raw Piano Bar

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."