Quick-witted Responder Gifts

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

"I'll have a man overboard!"

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

Barry Cryer.

I was thinking about something more like a slogan.

Mildred takes a shortcut to the shops. . .

"I suppose one of us should call somebody."

"Larry, did you water the plant?"

'Please sir - all of them!'

'Well, now, let's just shine the light of common sense and linear thinking on this little computer problem of yours, shall we?' 'I'm not THAT desperate yet.'

"I'm sorry, but you're not the patient your father was."

Said Cohen? Who's askin? Someone who is about to make your dreams come true. Why? Are you gonna let me yell at you until you bleed? Caustic. Quick-witted just as Facebook led me to believe. What the heck are you talking about?!?! Nothing. Ready to experience pure joy? I'm ready to attack!!

"I have half an hour if you want someone to get sucked into your drama."

'Do as I did - Learn to drink quicker.'

Surgeon asking patient, 'Would you like this to go?'

"You're one of the most twisted people I know!"

'Quick, Bensonhurst-Shaw, I need a bon mot for today's meeting.'

'If a rooster can crow why can't a crow rooster?'

"Do you believe fish is brain food?"

King vs King- who's the clown?

'Please try to be more tactful with your co-workers...' 'Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic...'

Lecture on dealing with hecklers-tongues sharpened while you wait.

"Is it true, Minister, 30% of jobs lost due to robots?"

"That'll be one arthroscopic surgery. Please pull up to the first window."

Is my mother-in-law the only one who shows up with an attache case?

'Prolonged space travel causes an astronaut's brain to float to the top of his skull."

Debating Society. This is not like sports. "Comeback performer of the year" means something different here.

Dave talks about the life as a Paramedic...

Grab your stuff and pay and get out of here convenience store.

Man walking by a dry cleaner's with a sign in the window saying "All work completed when you least expect it".