Quick-date Lover Pillows

Speed Dating. Ernie likes speed dating because the date's duration has a guaranteed minimum.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"Do you mind?"

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

'S'more wine?'

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I like Chardonnay, but I like saying 'Pinot Grigio.'"

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"My love language - I give words of affirmation when receiving gifts of cheese."

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

'I think I met Frank at the circus.'

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

"So tell me again where you're from."

Tunnel of like

"I like long walks on the beach and beautiful sunsets, too...but who are you?"

'You must be Olivia.'

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

Christian Speed Dating

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"Sunsets were cooler before he wore transition lenses."

"Thanks, but no thanks -- Valentines just lead to the hard stuff."

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."