Quick-date Lover Gifts

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

'S'more wine?'

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I like Chardonnay, but I like saying 'Pinot Grigio.'"

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

"My love language - I give words of affirmation when receiving gifts of cheese."

'I think I met Frank at the circus.'

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

Tunnel of like

'You must be Olivia.'

"So tell me again where you're from."

"I like long walks on the beach and beautiful sunsets, too...but who are you?"

Christian Speed Dating

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"Sunsets were cooler before he wore transition lenses."

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

'Actually I'm looking for a less meaningful relationship. I didn't understand the last one!'

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."