Questioner Of The Afterlife Gifts

"But what if this is all there is?"

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Call me?"

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'It's sad in a way -- just when he was declaring victory.'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"Are you sure I 'can't take it with me'? I brought some for you."

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

Dante's Undiscovered Prequels

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

"You think it's tough down there?"

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Shoptalk

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

"I haven't seen you up here before. When were you uploaded?"

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'