Philosopher Of The Afterlife Gifts

"Have you been feeling all right, Ed?"

'I like to think I make a difference.'

'Oh, well... It's been lovely talking to you, but I really must get back to work. See you in hell.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Call me?"

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"All we have left is standing room only."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'This is way better than a litter box.'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."