Quirky Afterlife Theorist Gifts

'Express Line, Ten sins or less'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Call me?"

"But what if this is all there is?"

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'It's sad in a way -- just when he was declaring victory.'

"You run into a window, too?"

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

"I don't think so."

Special Place in Hell...

"I'll have whatever they're having."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"I just reviewed your life...Here's your handbasket."

"Johnson's selling ad space in the tunnel of light."

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

"Posthumously yours."

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

A stranger in paradise.

"Have you been feeling all right, Ed?"

Devil vs Angel Duel.

Tombstone: I told you I was sick!

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

Welcome to Heaven

"...and tell him it's fairly urgent."

Pearly Gates Queue

'You ask him to sing. I don't speak Italian.'

"I thought I knew Venice quite well, but I don't recognise any of this at all."

'Finally I can enjoy a smoke without this constant fear that some day it'll kill me!' (smoking in heaven)