Afterlife Philosophers Gifts

A stranger in paradise.

'So, you didn't get to die with dignity. Who does? I choked to death on a bag of marshmallows, while sitting in a bathtub full of hot chocolate.'

'It's really nothing to be embarrassed about!'

"No, no, it was a heart attack. The air bag worked like a charm."

"You're just in time. We're having vegetarian chili tonight."

'You'd better not get caught with that. The rules clearly state that you can't take it with you.'

'Welcome! We have a cubicle waiting for you.'

"Wow, I wish I'd thought of that! My last words were pretty naf."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"Call me?"

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"All we have left is standing room only."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'This is way better than a litter box.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.