Afterlife Philosophers Pillows

A stranger in paradise.

'So, you didn't get to die with dignity. Who does? I choked to death on a bag of marshmallows, while sitting in a bathtub full of hot chocolate.'

'It's really nothing to be embarrassed about!'

"No, no, it was a heart attack. The air bag worked like a charm."

"You're just in time. We're having vegetarian chili tonight."

'You'd better not get caught with that. The rules clearly state that you can't take it with you.'

'Welcome! We have a cubicle waiting for you.'

"Wow, I wish I'd thought of that! My last words were pretty naf."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"Call me?"

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"It's true: no more burpees."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'So that's why I didn't get that train set? !'.