Afterlife Theorist Pillows

"Trust me. It's not a God-given right."

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

"15%? We all tipped 20%"

"It costs too much to live."

"Call me?"

'You ask him to sing. I don't speak Italian.'

"Good thing we got to you first. Inland Revenue wants you for Irregularities in Pension Payments."

'Yes, that's my final answer!'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"It's true: no more burpees."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'Welcome to Heaven. By the way, here's your favorite club you lost on that course 28 years ago.'

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'So that's why I didn't get that train set? !'.