Afterlife Theorist T-Shirts

"Trust me. It's not a God-given right."

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

"15%? We all tipped 20%"

"It costs too much to live."

"Call me?"

'You ask him to sing. I don't speak Italian.'

"Good thing we got to you first. Inland Revenue wants you for Irregularities in Pension Payments."

'Yes, that's my final answer!'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"It's true: no more burpees."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"All we have left is standing room only."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

'This is way better than a litter box.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'