Modern Afterlife Thinkers Pillows

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Call me?"

"Surgery up here is free!"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"It's true: no more burpees."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

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"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

Gates of heaven

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Heaven

"You get a white robe, a halo, wings, and of course, free WIFI."

'Hold on, pal! Who's in control of the narrative here?'

"No, you're going to hell - but you're welcome to check out the gift shop."

Post-psychoanalysis

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'